george\ carlin

george\ carlin
1. (george carlin) (1336↑, 89↓)
Since 9/11, he has been the only stand-up comedian worth listening to. If not for him, we would probably have even less of a first ammendment than we have now. His message has always been that if you dont want to hear something, then you don't have to listen.

Oh beautiful, for-smoggy skies, insecticided grain, for strip-mined mountain's magesty, above the asphault plane, america, america, man sheds his waste on thee, and hide the pines with billboard signs, from sea to smoggy sea

2. (George Carlin) (889↑, 66↓)
The comedy king who ccan out-funny ANY comedian that has ever set foot uopn this planet\!

They're going to ban the toy guns..AND THEY'RE GONNA KEEP THE FUCKIN REAL ONES\!\!

3. (george carlin) (787↑, 43↓)
Three steps above comedy.

The guy in the Greatful Dead t-shirt and the Fuck You hat agrees with me.

Author: Simon Says Go Fuck Yourself http://george-carlin.urbanup.com/511980
4. (George Carlin) (587↑, 46↓)
The originator of "Truth Comedy," and the One True God

"I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick\!"

5. (George Carlin) (571↑, 44↓)
The funniest man in America. No wait, the world. Not only is he funny, but all of his jokes, rages, and swear words tell the truth. He's a genius, and I salute him.

"We also like bombing brown people\! Not because they're terrorists...just because they're brown\! Seriously\! When did we last bomb white people, when was the last time ANY white people were bombed? Huh? The Germans\! And that was simply because they were trying to cut into our action\! Dominate the world, BULLSHIT, that's OUR FUCKING JOB\! We can't make a decent fucking car, but we can bomb the shit out of your country all right\!" George Carlin is a genius...there's no other way to explain it.

6. (george carlin) (495↑, 70↓)
The funnyest damn person alive today.

"Cheese tits"

7. (George Carlin) (388↑, 30↓)
George Carlin is the funniest comedian that has ever lived. George Carlin is responsible for the original list of "7 words you can't say on T.V." A man who never cares who he may offend, as long as he has SOMEONE pissing themselves laughing.

George Carlin Quotes "Atheism is a non-prophet organization" "People with low self-esteem have earned it" "Let's give credit where credit is due, and admit that scotch tape was a really good idea"

8. (George Carlin) (292↑, 16↓)
May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008 Most intelligent American that ever lived.

R.I.P, George Carlin.

9. (george carlin) (220↑, 11↓)
A comedian who beats the shiat out of Dane Cook. He has 14 HBO specials, something most other comedians can't even match and based off his new special, he IS an old fuck. Most of his notings are true and because of him, many people have become comedians themselves. IE Lewis Black.

George Carlin's Sports Cheer: "Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat. 69 assholes tied in a knot. Hooray, lizzard shit, FUCK\!"

10. (George Carlin) (173↑, 8↓)
Perhaps one of the finest comedians that ever lived, George Carlin defined the word counterculture as we know it today. Pushing the First Amendment as Lenny Bruce did, Carlin always had something to say and if you were easily offended by what he said he would advise you to "GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE". I hope the First Amendment didn't w/ him. I will miss Georgie Porgie…

Most people are not particulary good at anything. George Carlin If acting was hard for me, I wouldn't do it, it is something that I like to do. If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire. When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer. Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell. I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. [March 1997] We use up words like "spiritual" so fast in this culture. Twenty years ago "spiritual" had a distinct meaning. But now there's a lot of jack-off thinkers who just love to talk about the spiritual. And there is a lot of bogus -- is "bogosity" a word? It should be -- a lot of bogosity in these spiritual seekers. So you have to find another way to express it. I just call it "how I fit. I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. I'm not afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right. Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done". Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

11. (george carlin) (125↑, 22↓)
George Carlin is currently in his 70's and has one hell of a resume. Grew up in New York, went to catholic school(now an athiest), got booted from the military, became a disc jokey, than a stand-up comedian who appeared many many times on television. He has appeared on Jonny Carson's show almost more than any other, was the first host of Saturday Night Live, the founder of the Seven Dirty Words, has 14 HBO specials which is just incredible. Has been in a few films as well, and had a t.v. show that only lasted for I think a year or two. Still tours all across The U.S., does many shows in Vegas, and etc. George Carlin is the funniest and most original comedian in standup history. Not to mention one of the best and smartest philosophers the world has ever seen. This man is a true genious and tells it like it is. Everything this man has done is great. From his silly humor and little observations on life to his philosophical viewpoints and great ranting on government, religion, society, americans, bullshit, and more. You couldn't ask for any more from such a great human being.

George Carlin quotes: "Hey, how's everyone doing tonight huh?? Good, well FUCK YOU\!\!" Just tryin' to make you feel at home." "All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put humpty dumpty back together again. That's because there is no humpty dumpy, and there is no god." "I can prove to you that rape can be funny. Picture Porky pig, raping Elmer Fudd. Hey, why do you think they call him Porky\!?"

12. (George Carlin) (106↑, 6↓)
The absolutely greatest comedian ever to grace the Earth with his presence.

"I'd like to point out that during the twentieth century, white, God-fearing, predominately Christian Europe produced Lenin, Stalin, Franco, Hitler and Mussolini."

13. (George Carlin) (101↑, 11↓)
Greatest Stand-up Comedian to ever live, Rest In Peace sir. You will be greatly missed as an inspiration to almost every successful comedian today.

George Carlin a legend.... RIP

14. (George Carlin) (79↑, 6↓)
George Carlin is a veteran stand up comedian. His routine usually includes topics like; Religion, sex, swears, oddities of culture, and many social and moral taboos. His most famous routine is "7 Dirty Words".

George Carlin is so funny\!

15. (George Carlin) (74↑, 6↓)
Didn't George Carlin say, "'Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "HOLY SHIT....WHAT A RIDE\!"', or something like that?

[good life] [clown] [fun] [George Carlin]

16. (George Carlin) (71↑, 10↓)
The only comedian worthy or using the seven words you can't say on TV: Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. R.I.P. Man.

Somewhere in Heaven, George Carlin is telling God to fuck off.

17. (George Carlin) (58↑, 5↓)
George Carlin (1937–2008) was a brilliant comedian, actor, writer and philosopher. Along with Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor, George Carlin had a dynamic style that broke comedic down barriers and influenced countless people. He progressed every decade, truthfully grappling with a wide range of subjects such as politics, religion, language and societal norms. He’s known for his satirical humor, razor logic, individualism, ballsy demeanor, eloquence, skepticism, genius delivery, and angering a lot of people at the FCC. He was also a devout believer in Joe Pesci, because “he can get shit done.” George Carlin Greatness: -- American Dream -- Al Sleet: The Hippie Dippy Weatherman, Maaan.. -- Seven Dirty Words You Cannot Say -- Stuff -- The Ten Commandments/Religion Is Bullshit -- Modern Man -- The Environment/Saving The Plant -- Kids -- Hair Poem -- Death -- We Like War -- American Obesity -- Abortion -- Feminism -- Reagan Administration George Carlin HBO Specials: On Location: George Carlin at USC 1977 George Carlin: Again\! 1978 Carlin at Carnegie 1982 Carlin on Campus 1984 Playin' with Your Head 1986 What Am I Doing in New Jersey? 1988 Doin' It Again 1990 Jammin' in New York 1992 Back in Town 1996 George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy 1997 You Are All Diseased 1999 Complaints and Grievances 2001 Life Is Worth Losing 2005 It's Bad for Ya 2008

George Carlin on his beard: Here's my beard. Ain't it weird? Don't be sceered, Just a beard George Carlin on the American Dream: It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin on America: When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin on detachment: I have no stake in the outcome.

18. (George Carlin) (47↑, 10↓)
Someone who was more of a badass in his seventies than most people are in their twenties. He had 14 HBO one-hour stand up specials and he only got better with age.

George Carlin's material got me through my childhood in a bullshit religious institution.

19. (George Carlin) (43↑, 8↓)
1937-2008 Pioneer of comedy, dirty wordsman, quite possible the funniest man ever. Founded the 7 dirty words: Shit piss cunt fuck cocksucker motherfucker tits

Brian: You know who's dead and funny? Mitch Hedburg Will: You know who's funnier and more dead? George Carlin

20. (george carlin) (34↑, 5↓)
1937-2008 one of the most brilliant comedians in history... He was very intelligent and open minded and first known for the 7 dirty words also renowned for bashing religion, banks, the government, the elitist class that rule and control america and etc...

He was truthful and told it like it is many comedians today can trace their roots back to George Carlin basically the white version of Richard Pryor

21. (George Carlin) (22↑, 3↓)
The only comedian EVER who could speak and lecture the truth that the public like listening to. It was because of his cleverness and wit that people like to listen to common problems and social issues. One of the greatest thinkers and comedians of the 20th and 21st century.

"We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that we do not need to promote his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car." -George Carlin

22. (George Carlin) (14↑, 4↓)
A man who was incarnated by The Lord and then applied for a name change to "George Carlin". His comedy was direct, in your face, and to the point. He was also an accomplished philosopher.

I don't want to die\! I want to live\! That's the great secret to life...Not dying\! -George Carlin

23. (George Carlin) (44↑, 42↓)
The best white comiedean ever.

Go see George Carlin live on broadway

24. (George Carlin) (27↑, 269↓)
What has to be the most repetive comedian I have ever had the pleasure to hear, He also uses the 7 ever so famous words you can't say on tv (or radio) at least in america. He also love america here is proof In one special he sung a song (Corrected from above) Oh beautiful, for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, for strip-mined mountain's majesties, above the asphault plains, america, america, man sheds his waste on me, and hide the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily seaaaa. He goes on about 341 days soberity and 2006 is his 50th year in show-buisness so he says, "Lets do a f*(ken show"

George Carlin's Monologue from HBO Comedy special George Carlin:Life Is Worth Losing. It is not as funny as his early stuff. But it has its moments like in the beginning I'm a modern man, a man for the millinium digital and smoke free a deverified mulit-cultered post modern deconstructioneist politically, atomically and ecologically INCORRECT. I been uplinked and downloaded inputted and outsourced. \<\<\<And he is hanging Tough, over and out\>\>\>

Related: comedy, carlin, comedian, funny, george, dirty words, fuck, hbo, stand-up, 7 dirty words, bill hicks, hilarious, penis, richard pryor, 7 words you can't say on t.v., carlinism, christian, cunt, fart, football, fucking, god, heroin, joe rogan, legend, lewis black, mother, nigger, pussy, religion, shit, tits, truth
Last updated: 2012.02.29

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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